...means no. This teeny, tiny, ittybitty little word has posed a problem for me over the years. My personality tends toward Fixer. Caregiver. Teacher. Efficiency Expert. Control Freak. Problem solver. So, sometimes I had/have trouble saying "No." At some point, as I learned those roles, it was implied that it was not only my job to fix a problem/situation, but also to take the problem onto my own shoulders. Basically assuming responsibility for other peoples' "stuff". Over the course of my fifty-two years, in some relationships, those qualities have been exploited. Enter a gajillion hours of therapy...I don't have to do that.
I have written here, generally and specifically, about the last six months. They have been stressful at best, detrimental at worst. Especially the last week. My son, a college student in Boston, acquired cellulitis in his upper lip ten days ago. I won't get into the details here out of respect for his privacy and HIPA. I will say however, that it was very serious and very scary. For my hubby and I, it is summed up as: two round trips of driving; five nights in a hotel; five days of being in the hospital with him--not conducive for health or movement; and poor nutritional choices of both the solid and liquid kind (read: stress). This doesn't even take into consideration the crazy adrenaline/hormone output as a result of being in "fight or flight" mode for a week plus. But I digress...
Mostly, I believe the way to live life is to be positive, to be open, to say yes. Often however, the answer to things has to be "No". There is one relationship in particular, to which I was sucked back into (with my consent) but to my credit it was with the best of intentions, it was to help. However, the toll on my body and mind has been great.
This is why the word "NO." is important. So, what am I saying "NO" to and what does that mean? It means I will not accept someone else's "crazy" in my life. For me, it means saying "NO" to
behavior that is hurtful
malicious and hurtful language
intentionally hurtful behavior
name calling (what? oh yeah, that happened.)
There are way too many things and people in life, certainly in mine, to be grateful for. The key is to say a resounding "YES!" to the positive and self-affirming and NO to the hurtful and frankly, shitty people. NOT name calling, adjective. So, I am publicly proclaiming my own 365 days of self-care, for both the physical and emotional. There is no room for anything or anyone that does not add to my life equation.